Shit Speedrunners Say

I’m a huge fan of speedrunning. It’s the art of beating a game as quickly as possible. These are things that speedrunners often say. Don’t worry, it’s pretty much all tongue-in-cheek.


“I die there because it saves time.”

“Fuck RNG.”

“RNG stand for Random Number Generator.”

“My PB is so bad”

“Wow. My PB is actually sooooooo bad.”

“PB stands for personal best.”

“No, that is not the world record for this category. It’s a TAS video.”

“TAS stands for Tool Assisted Speedrun”

“If I don’t get this trick I’ll probably reset.”

“I’ve beat this game more times than I can count.”

“This is the run.”

“That was the run.”

“This is absolutely not the run.”

“I need to practice.”

“I have not got past this level for 5 hours.”

“I fucking hate this game.”

“This game is fucking stupid.”


“I need some better strats.”

“Yes, speedrunning is  fun.”

“Only people who hate their lives run 100%”

“Why is every NPC in this game retarded”

“Does anyone want to race?”

“I can’t do that glitch beacuse I’m not a robot”

“There is no satisfaction in world records anyway”


“No I don’t see the credits cut-scene in my dreams. I have regular people dreams.”

“Emulators are for scrubs.”

“How the fuck did that not work?”

“When I said this was a no-reset run… I may have lied.”

“Ok I’m totally dead… Wait no, we’re good.”

“Ugh, I need to de-rust”

“We don’t quite understand why that occurs. But it saves time so we do it.”

“Fuck Goombas.”

“This skip is fucking stupid.”

“Every second is beyond precious.”

“I really should put up a FAQ.”

“Nope. Belive me it’s a lot quicker to just kill yourself.”

“I haven’t slept in 36 hours.”

“Sleep is for the weak.”

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