Review – Zen Pinball 2

When the phrase “8 different camera angles!” appears during a loading screen, there’s a chance that the game you’re about to play might just be completely fucking awful.

Zen Pinball 2 is not exactly a game – rather a platform that houses an array of virtual pinball machines. It’s free to download on Nintendo’s Wii U e-shop although this package includes only four tables. Additional tables can be purchased at exorbitant prices. You can play each of the 4 free tables for a couple of minutes before your score disappears and you become frequently interrupted by messages requesting you buy the table, or package of tables. Why Zen Pinball 2 is not even listed as a demo on the e-shop is beyond me. Let us hope this doesn’t become a trend.

So, how does it play? The four playable tables each have their own awkwardly stupid Marvel super-hero theme, but under each coat of paint lies a very similar experience – each table is just as boring as the last. They just feel lame and uninviting. The sounds and visuals also leave an underwhelming impression. Nearly all the tables have Marvel themes although there was hype about the inclusion of a Plants vs Zombies themed table, but it just turned out to be ugly. The art style for that game was very simplistic so making a detailed pinball table out of it just ended up a complete mess. Basically this whole game is a complete mess and there is nothing much at all to like about it. I feel legitimately sorry for Marvel fans due to the embarrassing inclusion of their franchise here. Although it’s pretty hilarious when the Marvel characters appear on-screen and taunt you while playing. Whether this was intended to be funny or not though is probably debatable.

Bottom line – avoid at all costs. The space on your console hard drive should be reserved for pretty much anything else. Save it for actual games. Stay far away from Zen Pinball 2. Not only does it commit the sin of being a totally dreadful game, it has the audacity to ask for your money at the same time. Zen Studios, you are filth.

1/10

The Hulk's table isn't even green...

The Hulk’s table isn’t even green…

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